Did you make any resolutions or commitments for 2016?

 

How are you doing?

 

What would it take for us to talk over a cup of coffee next December and in answer to my question about how the year went for you, you replied “I think I just lived the best year of my life.”?

 

Such a response would not be based upon circumstances playing out well for you but rather how you experienced God and what He effectively did in you, maybe in spite of your circumstances.

 

Maybe you were hurt but forgave well. Maybe you had a significant loss but you persevered well. Maybe you had a fearsome situation but you trusted God well. Get the picture?

 

Let’s walk together this year, with Christ, for all He purposes to do.

 

There’s More to Patrick Than Parades and Green Beer

In the 5^th century barbarians began invading and overthrowing the fading Western Roman Empire. Roman civilization was destroyed and replaced by small kingdoms ruled by illiterate, barbaric warrior-kings. Some have referred to this as the Dark Age.

It was at this same time that Patricius, a British boy was seized and kidnapped and enslaved by a group of Irish slave traders. Patricius had given up on the religious ways of his parents but during the 6 years of his enslavement he began to pray.

One night he was awakened by a voice that said, “Your ship is ready. Though unsure of the voice or exactly what it meant Patricius set out for the sea. Two hundred miles later he found a ship bound for England and escaped back to his family.

In time Patricius fully came to faith in Jesus and sometime later felt called to return to Ireland as a missionary named Patrick.

To shorten an inspiring story, within Patrick’s lifetime, barbaric warriors cast aside their swords of battle and the slave trade ended. The culture was transformed into one that cared for the poor, the oppressed and the illiterate. A culture of compassion and education was developed.

Irish monasteries became centers for not only copying the Bible but many other works of literature. Much of the literary work of Europe during this age was preserved by the monasteries which also taught Latin, music and painting.

By the early 7^th century there were about 700 monastic communities across Great Britain so that some historians contend that the Irish saved civilization. The monastery became the center of culture.

The late Chuck Colson contended that this is how Christianity is meant to function in society-not just as a private faith but as a creative force in the culture. The inner life of faith must shape our actions out in the world. In every choice and decision we make, we either help to overcome the forces of barbarism—whether medieval or modern—or acquiesce to those forces; we either help build a life-giving, peace-loving ethos, or fan the flames of egoism and destruction.

 

For a fun, 2 minute history of Patrick check out this video--

 

 

Prayer as Intercession to God

In all of our praying the most important aspect is listening to God. This is especially true when it comes to intercessory prayer.

In the prior four posts we have focused on speaking to or with God regarding WHO God is (Praise), WHAT God does (Thanksgiving), and HOW God has determined life is to be lived (Confession).

Intercession is praying on behalf of others, calling upon God to intervene in the lives and circumstances of others. This immediately raises two questions—

1. How do I know what to pray on behalf of another?

If they are sick should I pray for their healing or for God’s grace to help them suffer the ordeal well? If they are experiencing poverty do I pray for God to supply their needs or to deepen their faith as they know God to be their true treasure?

Some would just say, “Pray that God blesses them and leave it up to Him as to how He wants to bless them.” That’s not a bad way to pray. I have prayed that way often.

However, there are those other times where God is looking to speak into our lives so that we join Him in His work in others. In other words, sometimes God wants us to not pray generally, “God bless him” but to pray specifically as God informs us to pray.

I’ve prayed for people to be healed. I’ve prayed for people to die and for Jesus to receive them into heaven. The reason I prayed so specifically was because I was “impressed” by God’s Spirit how to pray. Thus, listening is crucial for prayers of intercession.

There are many things already revealed to us in Scripture that we know to pray for others and thus we do well to pray consistently what we know. I prayed for my sons to come to saving faith in Jesus, I prayed for God to mightily contend with their hearts through adolescence for right living and I prayed for their courting and marriage to their future wives, not only through the years of their lives but even before they were born.

How do I know what to pray for others? God tells us through Scripture and through prayer.

2. Why do we intercede when God can do whatever He wants?

God involves us in His work in the lives of others because it is part of His discipleship plan for us. Paul Billheimer said it this way: “Prayer is God’s on-the-job training for us.”

Training for what? Billheimer contends that God is developing us as priests who will make a difference in the lives of others here and now, and God is developing us as His “bride” who will co-rule and co-reign with Him throughout eternity.

Intercession is worship (demonstrating our confidence in the goodness and greatness of God), work (joining God in His mission), and warfare (participating in God’s defeat of evil and the evil one).

How is it going for you three weeks into a new year of deepening your connection with God?

Prayer as Confession to God

Confessions are often associated with something negative. In the context of sin confession has to do with admitting guilt or admitting wrong.

 

Confessions are also associated with something positive.

 

For example, one confession that I frequently state for myself is that of three Hebrew young men who lived in the Babylonian empire of the 6^th century BC. When refusing to compromise their faith and their commitment to God for the sake of appeasing King Nebuchadnezzar they were sentenced to die in a fiery furnace. You may remember that the king offered Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego a second chance to compromise their faith and offered to change their sentence from death to life.

 

The 3 Hebrews replied, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we don’t need a second chance. Our God is well able to deliver us from your fiery furnace. But even if He does not we are not going to compromise our faith.” (Daniel 3:18)

 

I’ve had health challenges. I know that God is able to make me well. But even if He doesn’t I’ll not quit trusting Him.

 

I’ve had financial challenges. I know that God is able to meet every financial need I have. But even if He doesn’t I’ll not quit trusting Him.

 

I’ve had opportunistic challenges. I know that God is able to help me seize and succeed in the opportunity. But even if He doesn’t I’ll not quit trusting Him.

 

What’s the “fiery” ordeal in your life? Do you know that God can handle it? Do you know that in His wisdom He might not? Can you still trust Him even when God doesn’t come through for you in ways that you want Him to?

 

Another confession that has become a constant refrain for my life is from the ancient Queen Esther. Remarkably, miraculously, in the 5^th century BC a Jewish peasant girl living in exile in Persia was elevated to queen of Persia. Was this a matter of just being the luckiest girl on earth or was there some divine purpose behind it?

 

Reading the story shows that God is at work because the entire Jewish race is threatened with total extinction. God has been at work so that Esther would become queen and intercede on the behalf of her people. However, even though God is at work that doesn’t mean that Esther is without risk.

 

At one point in the story Esther’s cousin Mordecai tells her that she must approach the king and plead the case of the Jews so that her people might be delivered. Mordecai says, “This is why God has made you queen.” Esther replies, “It’s not that easy Mordecai. I’ve not even seen the king in a month. He has hundreds of women in his harem. If I try to see the king without the king having summoned me then he can have me executed. Mordecai tells Esther it is a risk that she has to take.

 

Esther prays about it, senses that it is what God wants her to do and confesses, “If I perish, I perish.” (Esther 4:16) Now there is a “happy ending” to her story. The king does receive her, hears her request and delivers the Jews from annihilation. But she doesn’t know how the story is going to finish. However, she was willing to take a life risk and trust God.

 

Have you felt God call upon you to take a stand at work that could cost you a promotion or even cost you your job and you pressed forward confessing, “If I perish, I perish”?

 

Have you felt God call upon you to take a stand in your social circle concerning a moral or ethical position that could result in ridicule or loss of friendship and you pressed forward confessing, “If I perish, I perish”?

 

Some of you have taken a stand about your faith within your extended family that had different beliefs and it resulted in you losing favor with your family or even being cut off from your family. You were confessing, “If I perish, I perish.”

 

As you deepen your connection and communication with God, prayer as confession to God will be key. What kind of confession are you impressed to make today?

Prayer as Thanksgiving to God

Some of us were taught as children to pray—

“God is great. God is good. Let us thank Him for our food.”

There is much wisdom in that simple prayer.

Praying thanksgiving is a key means of knowing God and communicating with God. But thanksgiving is more than superficially saying, “Thank you”.

Most of us were also taught as children the obligation of giving thanks. Aunt Susie gives you a birthday present and even if it was officially weird, your mother would ask you, “What do you say?” with an expectation of hearing you utter the magic words.

If we do an obligatory statement of appreciation to God we risk missing the experience of knowing Him. Go back to the “child’s” prayer above. Is God really great? Is God really good? How do you know?

When our thanksgiving is birthed out of awe we have a keen sense of His presence, the fullness of His Person, and in contrast the unworthiness of our receiving benefits or favor from God.

But we live in an “awe-killing” world. The recent movie on Moses went to great lengths to give naturalistic explanations for awesome works of God. We take for granted the awesome splendor of snow-capped mountains, powerful rushing rivers and the stunning beauty of sunsets.

If God is Creator then we learn something of Him when we examine and reflect on creation. God is an artist who loves beauty and shares the joy of His artistry with His friends. And if we notice God’s handiwork we’ve just been nudged by His Spirit to take it in.

When I drive across the floating bridge and squint because the sun is glimmering over Lake Washington with a majestic Mt. Rainier in the backdrop I have to whisper, “Thank you God for letting me live in the Northwest and having eyes to behold this sight and a heart that is alive to Your activity around me.”

In that prayer/conversation I’m not just communicating with God; I’m communing with God; I’m enjoying God; I’m celebrating God. And the marvelous outcome of praying thanksgiving is that the more I do, the more I know and experience God.

In this day, let us practice noticing God, acknowledging God and responding to God with praise and thanksgiving.

Prayer as Praise to God

Prayer is communicating or conversing with God. When you communicate with other people you make use of a variety of types of communication, sometimes asking questions, sometimes encouraging or challenging or even correcting others. So it is as we communicate with God.

There are 5 major types of communication or prayer we express:

     Praise is honoring or celebrating God for WHO He is.

     Thanksgiving is recognizing God for WHAT He does.

     Confession is agreeing with God about what is right or wrong with your life.

     Intercession is calling upon God to help in the need of someone else.

     Petition is calling upon God to help with your personal needs.

Additionally and most importantly the remaining part of communication with God is LISTENING (more about that in a future post).

Many of us have familiarity with petition or even intercession, where we are asking God for things. There’s nothing wrong with that and in fact God invites us to ask Him for things (Mark11:24). Deepening our communication with God will require that we grow in our ability to pray in additional ways.

Today I’m encouraging you to focus on praying praise, that is, reflecting on the wonderful nature of God and telling Him what you think and believe about Him.

However, don’t mistakenly think that God needs us to praise Him as if He were someone trying to do His best and we’re tasked with lifting His esteem. God doesn’t need our praise or our worship or our honor (see Acts 17:24-25). We need to praise and worship God. It does something to us and for us to rightly recognize God or celebrate God.

I play basketball at a local YMCA. Recently a new guy showed up and wanted to play and it was obvious that he had seldom played the game. Within a short time I found myself irritated because I felt he was ruining the game. In my frustration I sensed God nudging me to encourage and affirm this guy when he did something right. When I began to praise him for doing something well my heart was becoming open to him; praising someone was undoing the hardening that a critical spirit was forming in me.

Rightly praising God softens my heart, redirects my focus from the irritating things to the Indescribable One and moves me from “huffing and puffing” an existence to freshly breathing in Life.

As we journey together today, with every few steps speak aloud or in your heart words of praise toward our great God.

Deepening My Communication with God

Assuming that you would like to be able to sense God’s presence and with your heart “see” and “hear” His movement and activity around you better in the coming year, where would you begin?

My recommendation would be to deepen your ability to communicate with God.

When my communication with my wife or with friends is significantly good, I also seem to gain a capacity to sense what’s going on with them and thereby gain more intimacy with them. The same is true with my relationship with God.

Where is God leading you in 2015?

What aspect of your character is God prioritizing for greater development?

Who is it that God knows you to be?

Why does God have you in this world?

How are you to live so that at the end of life you hear from God, “Well done”?

These questions may seem intimidating or for some even impossible. Yet these are the kinds of things that God is pleased to speak into our minds and hearts (thoughts and feelings). He is more committed to our transformation than we. What becomes essential is that I grow in my ability to understand and experience God.

The Lord gives us the grace for our personal growth. What is our part?

For the next several days I will be posting some of my experience and practical ideas that I believe will offer a little boost to you moving forward in your relationship with Jesus. I invite you to join me in a journey and conversation; think of us walking and talking together.

I hope you’ll join me.

A Great Spouse Still Makes a Poor God

I've just completed a series of Sunday teachings on marriage and family and I'm currently leading a small group that is focused on the same subject. I've been learning and been reminded of many great truths and principles that contribute to the flourishing of relationships.

Today a friend sent a link to me of a timely post by Lysa Terkeurst that I'm linking here.

Here are a few nuggets from her thoughtful blog--

1. If a spouse could meet my every need, then I'd have no need for God.
2. Instead of focusing on finding the right partner, let God work in your heart to help you become the right partner.
3. Getting married doesn't make you selfless...it makes you realize how selfish you can be.
4. Getting married doesn't make you feel loved...it makes you realize that love is more of a decision you make than a feeling you feel.
5. Getting married doesn't take away loneliness...it makes you realize that true companionship comes not when you demand it, but rather when you give it to another person.

May we continue to seek God and become the person that God designed and thereby better enjoy the relationships He has given us.

Use Lent as a Season of Deepening Relationship with God

The 6 week period preceding Easter called Lent can be a time set apart for focused attention on deepening your relationship with God. This year I’ve created a plan that is designed to assist me with addressing specific areas of my life as I relate to God.

Maybe you have had experiences in times past around Lent and Easter that felt negative to you or full of guilt-inducing “shoulds”. I’ve prepared my plan because I “want” to grow in Christ. I share the plan with you in case you’d like to similarly engage these weeks in what I expect to be a powerful season.

I’m going to prayerfully respond to the items below by making fresh commitments to Christ, asking for His transforming power, and then I’m going share those commitments with trusted others with whom I do regular accountability.

1.  Describe your sense of connection with God.  Do you feel close or far away?  Do you have meaningful conversation with God or are your prayers dry?  Is God pleased with you?  Are you pleased with God?

2.  Describe your sense of connection with your family.  Is there closeness or distance? Is communication strong or lacking?  Are you enjoying one another or are you strained?

3.  Describe your sense of connection and involvement with your church family. What is fun and/or exciting to you about your involvement?  In what ways is your small group meaningful to you?  How does the Sunday gathering provide a quality worship experience and study of the Bible for you?

4.  What do you understand your spiritual gifting to be?  In what ways are you using your spiritual gifting to serve God and His church?  Is your service satisfying and energizing?

5.  Do you estimate your financial giving to be below, at, or above the 10% tithe that the Bible teaches?  Does this reflect growth in giving?  Does this reflect generosity in giving?  Does this reflect faith in giving?  Do you believe that God is pleased with your giving?

6.  Describe how you are building relationships with non-churched friends.  In what ways have you been able to share your faith?  Have you had influence or impact upon a friend in the last year so that they chose to also follow Christ?  In what ways are you discipling and/or mentoring another believer?

7.  Galatians 5:22-26 teach what the "fruit of the Spirit" are and how a believer lives when bearing fruit.  In what area of Christlikeness have you been especially "fruitful"?  With what area of Christlikeness have you especially struggled?

 

Go to Jail or Go to Church, Your Choice

When Tyler Alred was 16 years old, he got behind the wheel of his truck after drinking alcohol. In the seat next to him was his friend John Luke Dum. They crashed and Dum was killed. Alred was charged with manslaughter and pled guilty.

Oklahoma District Court Judge Mike Norman could have sent Alred to jail, but instead, taking into account his clean criminal and school records, sentenced him to wear a drug and alcohol bracelet, participate in counseling groups and attend a church of his choosing—weekly. He must graduate from high school.

To avoid jail time, Norman gave Alred a maximum 10-year deferred sentence.

This is not the first time that Norman has sentenced someone to attend church. You can read more about this story at the ABC News blog.

Have you ever heard of such a thing? I have but it has been a long time. About 25 years ago when I served another church in another state a judge specifically sentenced a man to attend my church. I knew the judge. I knew the man and cared about his plight. The judge called me before sentencing, told me his idea and asked if I was willing to be involved in the man’s life along with some drug and alcohol rehab programs. I was and the man was sentenced to a creative program that included attending my church with the hope that his life could be rescued and not lost in the prison system.

This of course raises several questions about a judge’s legal right to order such sentencing and the ABC News blog already has many comments on both sides.

However, my reflection is about the value of attending church. Obviously if a judge sentences a troubled person to attend church rather than go to jail that judge holds an opinion that something worthwhile will happen.

In contrast recent polling has indicated that in the USA the number one fastest growing group of people regarding religion is “none”; that is, people who have no preference regarding religion or faith. In other words, millions have concluded that attending church is a waste of time.

Which is it? Does going to church contribute to life transformation or to boredom and a waste of time? The answer is YES. The answer is mostly dependent upon the person and it is also dependent upon the church.

Walking in a door, sitting in a pew or chair, enduring religious music, rituals and talk, does little if anything to change or help anyone. But if a person has a hunger for God, gathers with people of faith who passionately worship God and do life with God, then that person may with God’s help experience a life revolution and transformation that cannot take place any other way. That is my experience and I’ve witnessed it happen with hundreds of others through the years.

I pray that Alred finds forgiveness, redemption, restoration and life purpose in Christ. I pray that Dum’s family receives the grace and comfort that only God can give in light of their terrible loss.

 

 

Creating Needed Space

How do you create space in your life?

My life is a story, as is yours. I love stories. They are powerful to me. Stories inspire, challenge, provoke laughs and stir tears.

 

I believe that God uses His story and ours to impact and change the lives of people.

 

Recently my story has become dull and uninteresting. I think it is reflected in how little I’ve been able to blog lately. What’s going on? There are too many “words” on the page.

 

If you notice when reading a book, the publisher has been careful to have margins on each page. There is “white space”. That margin helps us to read and take in the page. The more words and less space on a page make us work harder to get the story.

 

For around two years I’ve had too much stuff going on in my life. It is good stuff; important and eternal stuff. Often it is life and death stuff. But if I don’t intentional keep margin on the pages it becomes too much stuff and the story is bogged down.

 

That’s where I am. What should I do?

 

I’ve sensed God inviting me to slow down and create some space with the experience of solitude. For years I had the habit of going away to a cabin in the woods for a couple of days, two to three times a year. In solitude I worship, read, sing, think and write. I haven’t had meaningful solitude in about 16 months. I’m overdue.

 

I’ve placed on my calendar a date for two days of solitude, soon. Meanwhile, Thursday looked like the last decent day for weather as we move into the rainy Fall so I dropped everything and went for a day long motorcycle ride.

 

I took a book and my journal. I searched the net for a cool coffee/bakery type place as a destination to hang out. And I plotted a course that I’d never driven that looked like it would be picturesque with the colors of Fall.

 

The day didn’t turn out as I hoped. The morning was cold, overcast and damp. After two hours of riding I was chilled and tired. About ten miles from my bakery destination the sun broke out and the colors began to pop. I thought, “This is more like it.”

 

Then I got to the “bakery”. It was a little trailer at a spot in the road that I missed and had to turn around to find. When I walked into the empty room and asked "What's cooking?" they said they had “baked” some pizza. It was not the haven I longed for but I knew where one was and I mounted the bike for the hour or so ride to get there.

 

The ride was on the Mountain Loop from Darrington to Granite Falls. It was beautiful in a dozen ways. I drank in the sun breaks, colors, streams and rivers and wildlife. Then suddenly my dream ride ran out of pavement, seriously. The loop has a 15 mile stretch of single lane, gravel road. My cruiser and I were not excited to navigate this road as I had to cease drinking in the surrounding beauty and fix my gaze on the hundreds of pot holes I was now dodging. Did I mention for 15 miles.

 

Finally I hit pavement again, enjoyed the ride for several miles, and then arrived at my warm coffee shop with the overstuffed leather furniture, only to find it closed. Are you kidding me?

I’m really tired and cold after four hours of riding. I know another coffee rendezvous about an hour away so I hit the road. I can’t wait to smell some roasted beans and pour some hot coffee down my throat. But, about mid-way between the two towns, literally in the middle of nowhere, I had a flat.

 

Fortunately my phone worked and I called AAA. They were quick to inform me that my “Plus” membership didn’t include motorcycle service but they were glad to upgrade me for a fee. I upgraded. They contacted a tow truck and dispatched him to my location with the promise of a 45 minute wait.

You know where this is going. The tow truck called me in 45 minutes to say they were not coming because their truck broke down. AAA called another truck that was already helping someone else. He said he could get to me in 90 minutes.

 

As I sat on the side of the road for two and a half hours I prayed. I wondered if God would redeem this lost episode so that something meaningful would happen between me and the truck driver, or some other driver that might stop, or the service tech at the shop or anything else that God is capable of doing.

 

No, there was no magic to the day. No great story to tell. No productive thinking and writing. At the end of the day I was simply a tired, hungry, cold rider with a flat. Even as I write and read that last statement I think, “Yea, pitiful first world whining.”

 

But, it is where my story is right now. And, I’m not satisfied with my story. I’m challenged to create space and see my character engaged in more interesting, meaningful, and Gospel mission engagement. It’s not like that is not happening right now. It’s just that I’m not able to enjoy and engage it as I know it can be.

 

How’s it going with your story?

 

What Not to Say to Someone Who has Cancer

Recently I’ve been praying for and seeking to support some friends who are battling cancer. I discovered on Jon Acuff’s blog a guest post by Tracey Solomon that is spot on regarding what not to say to someone who has cancer. Her comments are very helpful and deserve to be read and passed on to others.

What Not to Say by Tracey Solomon

We totally need a Christian version of What Not To Wear.  Only it should be more holy and less about clothes. It should be called What Not To Say. Since my husband’s diagnosis with prostate cancer this fall, I’ve heard people say a lot of stuff that hasn’t been helpful. Maybe, that’s partly because, for awhile, I had a bad case of Cancer Tourette’s. Cancer Tourette’s is a condition where you randomly blurt out the diagnosis to everyone who asks “How are you?” Including the chick ringing up your Target basket and the 12-year-old boy putting your groceries in a bag. (FYI: 1) He doesn’t know what a prostate is, and 2) is afraid of you, prostates, cancer and your crying. Leave the poor kid alone.

Actually, it’s not always what people say that is hard…it’s how it sounds. Which could be totally a problem with my hearing, and since my husband’s diagnosis, I’ve been hearing things differently. It’s like I hear everything through a crazy morbid mix-master’s cancer filter. I think the world is auto-tuned to upset me. And it does.

But, I’m not the only one. I’ve heard others talk about stuff Christians say when there is a bad diagnosis, so I thought I’d ask Jon if I could give you guys a behind-the-cancer listen to the things we say and how they sound. I gotta be honest: Cancer (and any crummy diagnosis, really) is hard enough without having well-meaning people say things to make it harder.

Things like:

“You gotta stay positive.”

What it sounds like: “If you keep being so negative, you’re going to kill your husband.” (Which I sometimes want to do, but that has nothing to do with cancer, it has everything to do with hormones. Mostly.)

How I want to respond: ”I AM positive. I’m positive that cancer stinks. Also: Thanks. Now I’m afraid that if I’m not positive enough my husband will die. It will be my fault.”

The truth: ”Sometimes I need to get the negative out of the way so I can get to the positive. I’m positive that God will get us through this, even if we don’t like the outcome. Staying positive doesn’t mean living in denial. It means accepting the truth and hoping for the best.”

“God won’t give you more than you can handle.”

What it sounds like: “Buck up and deal. You can handle this, or God wouldn’t have allowed it.  You should be honored He thinks so highly of you.” (No clue where the term “buck up” came from. Blame the cancer.)

How I want to respond: “God needs to have his head examined. (Does God even have a head?) Or, he thinks way too highly of me. Has he not been paying attention to my immaturity? Maybe he needs bifocals or something.”

The truth: God gives us things we don’t think we can handle and then he works in and through us. (Which is good because otherwise he’d have to recall my kids. And since two are in college, that would be really awkward.) It’s not about US or what he thinks we can handle…. it’s about Him and what he can handle. But cancer still sucks.

“Is there sin in your life?”

Okay so no one has actually said this to me, But I know they say it to others. That, or it’s a Christian urban myth. Have you heard it?

What it sounds like: “Is there sin in your life? If so, sinner! You deserve this!”

How I (would) respond: “Of course there is. Duh. I’m human. Is there sin in your life? Cause, either you lie or I think you just fell into the whole plank vs. splinter in the eye thing which I’m pretty sure is sin and now you probably have cancer, too.” (But, I really hope not, because, like I said, cancer sucks.)

“That’s a good kind of cancer to have.”  Or, “At least they caught it early.”

How it sounds: ”Like you just said: “That’s a good kind of cancer to have. And at least they caught it early.”

A little cancer secret: There is no good kind of cancer. Cancer is BAD, always bad. That’s why we need to cure it. It’s also why we need God to help us through it.

“My _______ had ______ cancer and they’re doing great. (Or they died. Either one.)

I’m really glad your loved one is doing well. Or really sorry they died…. but, right now? This is about me. Let’s talk about me. (If there is ever a time to be selfish, it’s when you’re facing cancer or the cancer diagnosis of a loved one.

The bottom line (s) –

Please don’t:

Minimize: Say things to make the issue smaller than it is. It may make you feel better about the situation, but it makes the people involved feel like they’re crazy.

Spiritualize: Say things that make a physical issue into a spiritual one. Which, while I believe there is a spiritual aspect to everything, exactly what is really hard to tell from a diagnosis.

Traumatize: Now is not the time to share cancer horror stories.

If someone you know is faced with a nasty diagnosis, please…

Listen more. Talk less. Listen to how I feel, instead of telling me how I should feel.

Pray more. Preach less. When I’m afraid, pray with me. Now. Not later.  And really, the cancer center waiting room is not the time to preach or argue doctrine.

Bonus: When someone shares about a recent scary diagnosis, it’s probably not the time to tell them how wonderful your experience with that illness was, or how much you loved it. Or how it made God so real in your life and that you pooped rainbows after treatment. It could be true, but this is probably not the time to share. I may have threatened to stab the next person to do so. In love, of course.  (That has actually happened to me a few times. Except for the pooping rainbows part. I made that up.)

So have Christians said weird things to you when you’ve faced a crisis? What did they say? How did it sound? How did you wish you had responded?  What would have helped?

Final note: Ha! I said “prostate” on SCL! I think that’s a first.

Final, final note: Never confuse “prostate” and “prostrate.” Not the same.

PSA about PSA: Dudes, I don’t care what the government says, get checked your prostate checked. My husband is 45.

Tim Tebow and Turning Pages

I am a big-time fan of Peyton Manning. I was a big-time fan of his dad Archie. I have followed Peyton’s career throughout college and professional football. I falsely hoped when Indianapolis decided to let him go that Seattle might aggressively seek Peyton’s services. Alas, the Seahawks are another story.

I’m also a big-time fan of Tim Tebow. Not only does his faith and life inspire me but his work ethic in the game excites me. The Broncos drive through the playoffs last fall was the most entertaining football I’ve seen in a long time.

Now Peyton is becoming the Broncos starting quarterback. What will happen with Tebow? Will he be a backup to Manning and learn from one of the best? More likely I think Tebow will be traded. The Tebow mania in Denver could be too much for the business of football to happen effectively in the Broncos organization.

A trade to another team is what I call a “turning of the page”. If God is the Author of life and each of our stories become a part of God’s metanarrative, then Tebow’s move to a new team will be the turning of a page into a new chapter in his life.

AND, Tebow will be just fine. In fact I predict he will flourish. No, I don’t have an inside scoop on what team will pick up the Heisman Trophy winner. It really doesn’t matter. I hope that Tim will have success in the game wherever he goes but if he doesn’t it won’t matter. Since football is “A” passion of Tim’s and not “THE”Passion of his life he will be just fine wherever he is and whatever he does.

Tim has made it clear that following Christ is his all-consuming first priority in life. Knowing Christ, serving Christ and seeing the difference that Christ makes all around his life won’t change. Just the city and team will change. AND, I predict that the graceful, classy way Tim handles the transition will likewise bring honor to Christ.

I’m looking forward to the next chapter in Manning’s career. I’m especially looking forward to the next chapter in Tebow’s life.

Is there such a thing as "Wrongful Birth"?

A Portland area couple was recently awarded nearly $3 million because their daughter was born with Down syndrome. Around 13 weeks into her pregnancy the mother had gone into a clinic and received the chorionic villus sampling or CVS. The results showed that the child had a normal chromosomal profile. When the child was born it was then discovered that she did in fact have the chromosomal abnormality referred to as Down syndrome. Statistically the test has a 97.7% accuracy rate.

The couple sued the clinic claiming that had the test been accurate and they knew that their child was Down syndrome they would have aborted her and thus never gone through the ordeal of raising a special needs child.

The child is now 4 years old. The parents say that they love her. They simply want the clinic to pay for their error. If you’re interested in the specifics of the testing and trial you can read the story at the Oregonian.

The whole case is a reflection of our times and the questions that modern medical science is presenting to society. Upon what basis will we make such life and death decisions?

The term “wrongful birth”, like other current euphemisms in the news such as “after-birth abortion” and “selective reduction”, sends a chilling message that many of us can be misled by the changing of language.

Those of us who are guided by the Bible through the questions and values posed by contemporary culture have to see this crafting of words for what it is. Most of our society would not tolerate the murder of babies but would give little attention to someone preventing a “wrongful birth”.

Yes, I’m aware that scientifically a sperm and egg unite and from that conception a developmental process is launched until there is a birth. Increasing numbers in our society are having to reject the notions about life beginning at some point of viability or at birth because science has convincingly demonstrated that life begins at conception.

But theologically the Bible contends that life begins in the heart of God which precedes the uniting of sperm and egg. In the story of God’s call to Jeremiah to be a prophet, God informed Jeremiah,

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5)

The implication of this verse is clear. God conceives our lives and has determined the value of our lives and has plans for our lives before our parents even come into the picture.

Was there a wrongful birth of this little girl 4 years ago? No. Were it known that she would be born with Down syndrome should there have been a selective reduction? God forbid. Within minutes of her birth when her condition was discovered should there have been an after-birth abortion? Are we insane?

Changing the language does not change the fact that we are “playing God” when we make decisions for death instead of life.

When God Works in Unique Ways

About a week ago I had the privilege and unique opportunity to travel to Nicaragua as a part of a service team for a newly established village. While in the village our team of 16 served alongside the members of the community harvesting and planting crops, building friendship, offering support and sharing life.

I use the word “unique” because of several factors. First, the trip was planned by my Rotary Club in Sammamish, not by my church. Some months ago Charlotte, the chairperson of the international committee of our club discovered a Seattle based non-profit ministry called Agros. She was impressed with their model of offering help to the poor in ways that empower them to bring about change in their lives (more about that later) and she led our club to partner with Agros in a multiyear commitment of several thousand dollars. As far as we can tell this partnership between Rotary and Agros is a first.

Regarding the uniqueness of partnership, for this trip Sammamish Rotary was teamed up with church members from three churches in Spokane. Though Rotary holds many values and goals that are common in churches, Rotary is also careful to not embrace Christianity over any other religion but mutually respect all. In my estimation the partnerships with Agros and the churches was terrific.

Second, God was a work in a unique way by sending me on the team. Yes, I’ve been on international mission teams before but my participation has been around my skills and abilities. I’ve done teaching and leadership training for church leaders and various outreach efforts. But those that know me laughed or smiled broadly when they learned that I was going to go do work on a farm. I’m about as unhandy as a guy can be when it comes to working with my hands but there I was milking a cow, picking peppers and watermelons and cutting plantains.

Third, my experience was unique because of the way the events of the week unfolded for me. Most of the team from Spokane did not know that I was a minister and none in the village did. Though our team had devotions and prayer together and we experienced chapel services with the people in the village, I never led a meeting, led a prayer, or led a devotional time. I didn’t facilitate any of the debriefing sessions in the evenings. These are the kinds of things that I do all the time but in the first part of the week my role was simply servant and friend. It was refreshing for me and I enjoyed watching others do a great job leading. I love being led well by others.

But midway through the week the Spokane friends had hoped that our team might be able to have a communion service with our friends in the village. The leadership council kindly said that this would not be possible without an ordained minister to oversee such a service. At that point someone mentioned that I was an ordained minister. After I sat down with the leadership council and we discussed various issues of difference between the Catholics and Protestants in the village we were able to have the Lord’s Supper together in our Thursday afternoon chapel service. It was one of the most special communion services that I’ve officiated.

Now that I was “outed” as a minister various villagers asked me to pray blessings on their homes and families and crops. In my last hours there I was privileged to serve with the gifts and abilities that God has given me.

During my time in Nicaragua God spoke into my heart and addressed several lessons for my life that I’ll share in the next couple of posts.

I’ve been following Christ for over 35 years. I still marvel at the new and unique things that He does in and around my life.